Oct 21, 2016

Writing used to be my escape. But now, it feels like i don't have the right to write anymore.

I must have killed you a thousand times in my head, but then i guess i still love you a thousand times more. Some days are wonderful. I smile a lot and i feel like i can finally let you go. But some days are close to hell i just sit alone and hear my heart tears apart.

I should wish you a happy life but sometimes i just want you to suffer as much as i do.

Sep 21, 2016

I still don't get it sometimes where did i do wrong. You thought that you've already done everything right, but then everything turns out to be never ending bullshits.

I should've stand by my decision a long time ago. That was my biggest mistake. I'm just too lost now i can't see myself returning to the old me.

Will i just die like this, sinful and hollow, or will there come a day when everything falls into place again?

Sep 17, 2016

I can never understand how on earth could you say that you like me, and then decided to marry someone else.


Sep 2, 2016

Why do i feel like my life right now is overly pathetic? I don't have any close friends within a talking distance. My only close friends are scattered over the country. I don't keep in touch with people that i grew up with. People just keep on leaving.

And when i finally found someone that i could talk to and who really wanted to listen, he too, left.

I just feel so lonely all of sudden. Why can't you give me at least one? Why do you have to take it all?

Am i not worthy of them all?

Jul 23, 2016

How long does it take to move on? How much longer does it take to brush this feeling away? You no longer have the right to be in my 2am thoughts. Why does it take so little memories to mess up such a huge space in my mind?

Why the hell i still cry silently, in my car or on my bed, when i think of you?