Aug 29, 2010

Fly me away.

You are stuck in my heart
Like counting a million stars
For that many reasons you are


Kenapa buku kelihatan sangat meloyakan waktu ini?
Urgh.

Aug 28, 2010

Options.

Someone said I should forget. Someone said it's ok to remember.

Someone said I should give it away. Someone said I can keep it by my side.

Someone said it's stupid. Someone said it's normal.

Can I do what I want to do, instead of listening to what others said?

Because, only me knows what it feels like.

And I just want to smile, whatever it takes.

Aug 27, 2010

Perkara-perkara yang buat aku bahagia.

Tengah malam yang sunyi dan aku satu-satunya manusia yang masih berjaga. Tambah dengan suhu yang rendah, sedapnya kalau dapat menghirup coklat panas.

Tonton Psych sambil gelak sendirian sampai kulit muka tegang. Ok, jangan ingat aku gila. Mungkin ini salah satu rahsia awet muda.

Kejar bas awal-awal pagi sambil melewati anjing yang sedang tidur kat tepi jalan. Comel. Kalau aku boleh bela anjing, sumpah aku kutip seekor.

Termenung kat depan tingkap sambil tengok matahari jatuh, perlahan-lahan. Langit malam di Bangalore yang berwarna merah menenangkan aku, dalam satu cara.

Membaca buku di perpustakaan yang lengang, dengan hanya bunyi kipas kedengaran. Terasa dunia sangat aman tanpa manusia yang menyesakkan.

Duduk dalam bas di tepi tingkap. Angin sejuk mengebaskan muka, mengelepetkan tudung. Melihat dunia bergerak dalam aturan sendiri, hampir sama tiap-tiap hari.

Dan, tak lupa secawan teh. Hijau atau merah. Dua-dua kegilaan aku.

Aug 24, 2010

Time flies, away from me.

I chose The Mentalist over Pharmacology.

Sorry.

I get addicted easily when exam is just around the corner.

Aug 22, 2010

Nostalgia.

Tiba-tiba rindu
Nak pakai baju kurung putih dengan kain biru muda
Kasut putih siap dikapur segala
Beg sandang berat dipenuhi buku-buku semua.

Tiba-tiba rindu
Pergi sekolah jalan kaki
Keluar rumah awal-awal pagi
Cium tangan Ma dan Abah sebelum pergi.

Tiba-tiba rindu
Masuk kelas sapu lantai siapkan tugasan
Bunyi loceng berhimpun kat dataran
Nyanyi Negaraku dan juga Selamat Sultan.

Tiba-tiba rindu
Senyum sampai telinga bila tiba masa rehat
Pergi ke kantin makan mi sup yang sedap
Duduk dengan kawan sambil gelak-gelak.

When i was fifteen, the world seems so clean.

Aug 21, 2010

Kuda-kuda di ladang.

Outside by your doorsteps
In the worn out suit and tie
I'll wait for you to come down
Where you'll find me
Where we'll shine. 

Band of Horses
Go To The Barn Because I Like The

I started to like this song after i heard it on the season finale episode of Psych Season 4.
Somehow i like his voice, unique maybe.
And reminds me of Dido, but i still like her better though.
Kadang-kadang dengar takpe kan?
Untuk menghilangkan kebosanan dan stress belajar.

Aug 20, 2010

I'm not a loner.

Aku pelik kenapa orang risau kalau seorang perempuan pergi ke suatu tempat seorang diri?
Maksudnya di sini adalah tempat yang tak terlalu jauh, dan tak terlalu dekat
Tempat yang ramai orang lalu-lalang
Tempat yang tak sunyi, dan waktunya bukan malam
Kadang-kadang aku lebih suka berjalan seorang diri
Lebih tenang, dan lebih mudah.

Aku bukan orang yang perlu diapit untuk ke mana-mana
Atau perlu berteman sepanjang masa
Malas mahu menyusahkan orang lain bila ia tidak diperlukan
I went to MG Road alone to repair my old lappy
Also to Mantri Square to buy a rechargeable study lamp (memandangkan Bangalore selalu gelap bila malam)
And back then when i was in Shah Alam, i once went to KL alone (sebab terbeli sandal belah kanan dua-dua)
Plus, i used to go to college by walking, alone.

Walking alone can clear up my mind
Like some kind of therapy
Banyak jugak cara aku bermeditasi ni
Ngeh.

Bukanlah sepanjang masa berseorangan
Cuma kadang-kadang tak rasa ke kita perlu lari dari semua orang?

Mungkin aku saja kot.

Aug 19, 2010

Jangan baca kalau tak nak muntah.

Lipoproteins.

Submucous resection.

Atorvastatin.

Valsalva test.

Rhabdomyolysis.

Ciprofibrate.

Otitic hydrocephalus.

Colestipol.

Cholesteatoma.

Gradenigo's triad.

Uvulopalatopharyngoplasty.

etc.

........

........

........

ok, aku nak tidur.

Aug 18, 2010

Anda percaya tajuk post di bawah?

Aku masih hidup.
Dan aku masih tersenyum.
Hidup ini indah bukan?
Jika kita tidak memberatkan segala apa yang ada di depan mata.
Tapi tak bermakna perlu bersambil lewa.

Aku beri apa yang aku ada.
Kalau tidak, sudah lama aku pergi.

Aug 16, 2010

Sayonara.

I should stay away
For a while
For good.

Bye lappy!

Aug 15, 2010

If only i own a spaceship.

Right now,
I feel like going to a place
Where no one knows who i am
And no one cares what i do
Somewhere far yet reachable
Want to come with me?

Sesat dalam hati.

Ada sesuatu tak kena dengan aku kebelakangan ni
Aku rasa kepala aku kosong dan hati aku kacau
Nak baca buku pun tak ada semangat langsung
Rasa macam ada sesuatu yang hilang
Momentum aku dah lesap
Dan, exam akan datang lagi dua minggu.

Aku dah buat semua yang biasanya aku buat kalau hati tak tenang
Tapi, masih tiada perubahan
Sekarang aku banyak tidur
Dan buat benda-benda yang bukan akademik
Aku perlukan satu trigger
Sesuatu yang boleh kembalikan apa yang hilang.

Tuhan, tolong aku.

Aku ada banyak lagi yang mahu ditulis
Tapi aku tak tahu macam mana mahu menulis
Seperti sebuah kotak yang penuh dengan wayar yang berserabut
Aku hilang punca untuk mencari hujungnya
Supaya ia boleh diurai dan digulung dengan kemas.

Tuhan, tolong aku.

Aug 14, 2010

Cold play

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And i will try to fix you.

Aug 12, 2010

Silence

I still believe that sometimes we don't need words
To express what we want to say
Because,
Some things are better left unsaid.

Aug 10, 2010

Temporary.

Masa yang tidak sesuai.
Aku patut hilang.
Atau, mungkin masa yang sesuai untuk hilang.

Aug 9, 2010

I should get some sleep.

Ok, this is the third one.
I know this would be coming.
Just in the perfect time.

I tried to be ignorant for something i shouldn't have a single thought at from the beginning.
But just by knowing that or seeing it,
My heart aches.
Or is it itches?
Who cares.

I guess it's out of control of my sanity.
Flawless crime.
To myself.

I don't possess it.
Not now, or even before.
Why should i mind?

Note to self,
Get a life.

Psych.

I watch it whenever i need to laugh
Like some kind of therapy
Wait, why does that sound terribly pathetic?
Whatever.

Shawn and Gus are just the right partners to make me bursts out laughing like a crazy person.

Aug 8, 2010

To-morrow

Suddenly it's Monday again.
I need to breathe.
And sleep all day.

Aug 7, 2010

Confession of a sinner.

I made a wrong move today
Wrong enough to make me felt uneasy the whole day
I've been thinking
What if i die today?
What if i lose my breath at this moment?
Without having one last glance to what i may leave behind
Will Allah satisfy with what i did with my age here?
Will He?

I have too much sins to be covered up with my deeds
I have too much regrets than what i am proud of
I don't think that's adequate to please Him.

Ramadhan, please come fast
I think i'm getting worse, spiritually.

Estranged.

How much time had passed
Since back then?
Without a warn
We become strangers.

Aug 6, 2010

Kurung.

I'm making my own baju raya this year
Sounds great kan?
Kat rumah Ma nak ajar bukan main liat
Kat sini tergedik-gedik nak buat sendiri pulak

Ma, aren't you proud of me?
Haha.

Aug 5, 2010

Reborn, again.

I used to pretend to be someone that i am not
It lasted for some time
But then my true self cries to be noted
This is me.

It gets bored to be someone else
No matter how good it is
I should be honest with my words
At least the written ones.

My photoblog is so not gonna last long
I get tired of uploading photos
Writing is so much easier
And portrays what i want to say
Not what i should say.

I'm not weird
I'm just limited edition
And you're not me
Too bad.

Ini bukan diari, cuma tempat meroyan.

Black.
Macam dulu-dulu.
Terasa mahu merepek.
1.50 am and i'm still wide awake.
Thanks to Mlesna green tea with peach apricot extract.
Tadi ponteng satu hari.
Oh, what a day.
Even terperuk dalam bilik satu hari suntuk.

I love Bangalore when it's winter.
Jimat elektrik sebab tak pasang kipas.

Tapi, masih rindu Malaysia.
Bukan sebab tempatnya, tapi sebab siapa yang di sana.
Kan?

Aug 4, 2010

Endless.

How to lose an obsession?
It's killing me, really.
No matter what i do.
I keep on doing it.
Crap.

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