Apr 25, 2011

Nota terakhir.

I never say why I stop writing.

I used to feel that writing is the only way I could do to convey what I have inside of me. I still do, but many things happened for the past few months that taught me I shouldn't anymore. People say, once you pour your heart out it will never stop leaking. I learn that the hard way.

Now, I try my best to stop the leakage. Somehow I feel stupid after writing so much craps. Honestly, from the bottom of my heart, I write to make someone understand me even though I don't know if that person is reading or not. I want that particular person to understand the twisted mind of mine. But that doesn't matter anymore. Nothing matters anymore.

I have hopes. But I'm trying my best not to let my hopes to be held high until I can't seem to see the reality anymore. I let myself down sometimes. But still, I want to live for today. Tomorrow is just a shadow out of my reach. I want to smile my heart out, not faking it with the best mask I have.

This blog stays here, for some period of time of which I'm not sure how long. Because it contains my strength that I want to lend to myself in the future who may suffer from a loss I can't avoid.

To those who's asking where I've been, thanks for your concerns. I'm still here, just not visible any longer.

Apr 4, 2011