Jun 30, 2012

Ibu lidah.

mahu membaca novel Melayu.

Jun 26, 2012

Dan sebenarnya begitu.

Dan ya, aku telah meminggirkan nota-nota putih ini untuk menagih kefahaman manusia di tempat lain. Dan ya, hati aku masih tidak puas kerana terpaksa menimbang-nimbangkan dalam kepala apa yang boleh ditulis dan apa yang tidak. Dan ya, ini tempat terbaik untuk memuntahkan segala isi hati yang kamu tidak mahu ambil tahu.

Dan ya, aku sedang bersedih.

The return.

Suddenly I was 20 again. Crying silently in the middle of the night while everyone I know was sound asleep. In the darkness of my room, I hid my face from myself knowing I would look like a wife with a dead husband the next morning.

This feeling, will it ever go away? I seriously thought I have get rid of it, convincing myself that becoming a heartless person was easier and happier than this.

It came like a storm, each and every time. I could smile happily for one moment and then cry for the next. I hated the person I saw in the mirror. I hated her for becoming too fragile. I hated her for becoming too attached. I hated her for chasing over a shadow. I hated her for hating God's plan. I hated her for crying night over night for something she didn't have. I hated her for having a hole inside her heart that somehow can only be filled by one person. I hated her, for falling in love.

And now she's back.


When writing doesn't make sense anymore,
what do I do when I feel like exploding,
like now?

Jun 24, 2012

I now know, what it really is to love someone's imperfections. And seeing you doing something you really love makes me happy. I swear I was close to tears. Thank you for the wonderful moment.

Jun 3, 2012

Sometimes, I wanted to be heard so much that I screamed my lungs out through every single pore I could find. But then I realized, my lips were never opened. I need someone to see my invisible pain. Unfortunately, everyone is busy mending his own wounds.

I miss my barbiturate.