Dan ya, aku telah meminggirkan nota-nota putih ini untuk menagih kefahaman manusia di tempat lain. Dan ya, hati aku masih tidak puas kerana terpaksa menimbang-nimbangkan dalam kepala apa yang boleh ditulis dan apa yang tidak. Dan ya, ini tempat terbaik untuk memuntahkan segala isi hati yang kamu tidak mahu ambil tahu.
Suddenly I was 20 again. Crying silently in the middle of the night while everyone I know was sound asleep. In the darkness of my room, I hid my face from myself knowing I would look like a wife with a dead husband the next morning.
This feeling, will it ever go away? I seriously thought I have get rid of it, convincing myself that becoming a heartless person was easier and happier than this.
It came like a storm, each and every time. I could smile happily for one moment and then cry for the next. I hated the person I saw in the mirror. I hated her for becoming too fragile. I hated her for becoming too attached. I hated her for chasing over a shadow. I hated her for hating God's plan.I hated her for crying night over night for something she didn't have. I hated her for having a hole inside her heart that somehow can only be filled by one person. I hated her, for falling in love.
Sometimes, I wanted to be heard so much that I screamed my lungs out through every single pore I could find. But then I realized, my lips were never opened. I need someone to see my invisible pain. Unfortunately, everyone is busy mending his own wounds.