Jan 24, 2013

My sixth sense.

Kalaulah aku boleh ceritakan kegilaan ini kepada manusia. Semacam Tuhan mahu aku jangan berputus asa tentang kamu. Berkali-kali Dia usahakan supaya aku tahu kamu itu significant, jangan buang dan jangan lupa. Jangan berani aku kikis walau secebis. 

Kamu, yang berbaju kotak dan bermuka bulat.

Kita, apakah sama?

I miss writing. More than I miss reading.

I miss writing something worth reading.

Kepala otak penuh dengan ajaran-ajaran medik dan kerisauan-kerisauan bersebab.

Well, I won't be missed anyway.


Kalau nak drop out from school masa final year mesti kena bunuh kan? Sula pun best jugak.

Dah bengong.


Jan 17, 2013

Still standing.

It shocked me actually to know how many people knew about Doraemon and I. The so-called 'scandal'. Haha. I am definitely sure I told partially about him to exactly four people at first. Then all of sudden the whole class knew about that. And today, after more than three years, it came to my knowledge that more people knew about it. I guess I know who the leak is. But never mind.

As he said, people can talk about it and guess and gossip around. But only the two of us know what exactly happened. How much we get hurt. And how big the impact it has brought to our lives. It's like we grow up together through these challenges.

We are two strong people, Doraemon and I. I am proud of him as much as I am proud of myself to be getting through all these years, all these hardships and be a better person. To deny one's desire is not easy, seriously. I had the taste of it, and whatever had happened was beautiful and ugly at the same time. Now, if you ask me that if I could turn it all back, would I want to? No.

God's plan is the sweetest. I'm sure of that.

Jan 15, 2013


I remember clearly how he talks and the way he laughs, how he walks and his big smiles. I can recognize his checkered shirts from afar even if I don't wear my spectacles, the way I can recognize his bike even without looking at the plate number first. I remember his worn out green slippers, blue hoodie, that black jeans with its fold at the bottom, or even the pencil case he lost.

Everything is just a small little detail. Every moment is as brief as a second. But these are important to me, because these are as much as I could get.

I think I know how Kim Joo Won felt when he said he had the Alice in Wonderland syndrome.

Jan 9, 2013

Silent as death.

Aku simpan buku di merata-rata tempat. Four, to be exact.

Rak buku besar untuk buku-buku medik dan benda-benda lain berkaitan medik, contohnya sphygmomanometer dan sekotak latex gloves digunakan semasa dissection class in first year.

Rak yang bersambung dengan meja belajar untuk buku-buku yang belum dibaca.

Kotak di bawah katil untuk buku-buku yang sudah dibaca dan akan dibawa balik ke Malaysia semasa cuti.

Timbunan buku di sebelah bantal untuk buku-buku yang sedang dibaca, dan juga satu buku crosswords.

I wish I have more time and the energy to read. Letih nak mampus is seriously underrated.

Jan 3, 2013

The end.

So, I guess it's official then. My presence is not allowed anymore in your life. And it took you two years to say it. Two fucking years.

Thanks anyway. I'll remember you as the biggest regret in my life. A proof that a friend can become a mere stranger just by one mistake.

One fucking mistake.

Jan 2, 2013

A new beginning.

These past few weeks had been very hectic. End of posting exam, sports day, birthday celebrations, usrahs, daurahs, jaulahs, sleepovers, class luncheon and whatnot. Not including classes, in which now I am posted to Orthopaedics department. 8am to 5pm, with mostly half of it standing in the OPD beside the doctors, attending patients. I barely have the time and energy to read my favourite books, watch my favourite series, or even lie peacefully on the bed while listening to good songs.

But weird enough, I'm happier than I've ever been.

As tired as I get, I want to make as many memories as possible here. Because this is supposed to be the final year (by God's will) that I get to spend my time with these friends I knew for more than 5 years already. We came from different parts of the country, so the chance to meet again and do these things together is highly unlikely.

May lots and lots of happiness fall upon us in the year ahead. And may we be closer to Him through any sort of ways.