Mar 16, 2016

Everything looks so dull. The air feels so stale and nauseating. Why does it all seems so important when it isn't?

I need a break from everything around me.

But where to run? More importantly, how?

Mar 12, 2016

I guess i'm still not fully recovered. I'm still wounded from the shock i had two and a half years ago. That was the greatest pain i have yet in my entire life.

It just hurts too much. You are still here, everywhere, hidden. We are way too complicated beyond words. And vulnerable.

I guess i will spend the rest of my life hiding my heart away, trying to be as numb and cold as i could.

Mar 3, 2016

I'm uninstalling every social media outlet that i have as of today. Trying to steer my life in one direction, however shabby it is. I'm just too unhappy recently. Got extended in 2 postings for total of 4 months, which means that i'll be a medical officer much later and stays in this hell of housemanship longer than i expected.

Social media just expose people's life more than it should. And then i start to compare myself to them which only adding up to my misery.

Why am i so miserably passionless and dreamless? I cannot find that one thing i'm good at and put my all into it. It's all so confusing and irritating to be so directionless. How am i supposed to go with the flow? I don't want to drown myself, so here i am still helplessly grabbing on tight to my comfort zone.

Dear self, you can't fly high if all you think about is how shattered you will be once you fall.